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Sex as a Weapon

In the small West African country of Togo women have taken arms, but not with guns. In the midst of political turbulence Isabelle Ameganvi, the leader of the women’s wing of Let’s Save Togo, rallied her troops, the weapon of choice, sex. Celibacy was the war cry as each woman was asked to refrain from having sex with men for a week.  After gaining international attention, many people are questioning its efficacy after having received no response from the President in opposition. In 2003 Liberian women used the same tactic to much success in a campaign for peace, raising the question – how effective is sex as a political weapon?

Around the world and throughout history the feminist movement has used sex as a weapon but now it is rearing its head in a new direction. Obama and Romney have battled over gender issues and LGBT civil rights as a whole, each taking their own political stance, and as the election approaches citizens will choose whose platform they support. With Romney attacking Planned Parenthood (P.P.) and other public welfare agencies many people, women in particular, are severely scrutinizing his platform claiming it would be blatant governmental negligence to disband programs that traditionally service low-income families and communities. After Romney’s stance was publicized, a representative immediately released a statement saying that Romney does not plan to terminate organizations such as Planned Parenthood, but rather suspend or cut subsidies forcing them to rely on private funding.

Unbeknown to many Americans, in February 2011 the House of Representatives passed an amendment that would eliminate $300 million for preventative health services at Planned Parenthood, however the law did not go into effect and P.P. was able to receive funds through the Title X program enacted by the Obama Administration. To this day they are unable to receive federal funding for abortions, a relief to conservative anti-abortion supporters and others who believe Planned Parenthood’s Jaffe Memo is still in effect.

In 1969 P.P. Vice President issued the Jaffe memo to Bernard Berleson, President of the Population Council, a NGO devoted to international social and health research. In it he outlined concise measures for population control, touching on homosexuality, education and public welfare, all of which are issues controlling the stakes until November 6th. To some this document’s relevance coincides to increasing abortion rates, particularly among blacks, and explains why the majority of their clinics service low income communities.

Sex and politics have interestingly become intertwined having a powerful influence over society, which most behavioral scientists, such as Bereleson, would agree is a natural effect as sex is our life force.  In Egypt sex and law have met odds as women protest a proposed law permitting husbands to have sex with their wives less than six hours after her death. This story astonished locals and similar to the U.S., when infused with propaganda and sensationalism, politics can seem like a game of smoking mirrors making it easy for even well -informed citizens to become lost in the media’s portrayal and ignore the true facts surrounding the issue. The controversy surrounding women’s rights in Egypt, Togo, and the U.S. each display sex as a weapon differently with the victim being society and the only refuge political change. When the roles are reversed, how do the dynamics change and more importantly how will the nation and the world respond.

 

Written by :

Iman Folayan
@rawdiamante
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Why do People Cheat?

This question has been asked so many times by so many people. If you ask me, there is no right or wrong answer. Of course everybody has their own opinions and their own beliefs on why they personally think people cheat. A person that’s been cheated on has completely different views than a person who was the cheater. The person who claims to never cheat may likely have different view too.

Here’s what I think, there are different categories of cheaters and reasons why they cheat. There are also different forms of cheating. Here’s a breakdown of them. Which one, if any do, you fall into?

Cheaters Defined

 The “Just Because” cheater. Honestly there are some men and women who cheat just because they can. This person’s man/woman could be doing everything right and still they feel the need to cheat. Either they’ve gotten away with it and keep doing it because their man/woman hasn’t caught them or they’ve been caught and forgiven so they think it’s cool to keep doing it. They also cheat because its available and the other party has made it all too easy for them. You have those men/women out here who know they are number 2 and have no problems with that. They will even go so far as to lie for the cheater if they are ever caught. The number 2, or sideline as I like to call it, gets used to playing their part but its always in the back of their minds that they could somehow push their way into being number 1. The sideline can be pretty bold too, even coming around the number 1 and posing as just a friend. It could be happening to some of you right now and you would never know out. Now, I’m not here to male bash but in my opinion more men than women fit into this category.

Then you have what I like to call the “revenge” cheater. Their motto is he/she cheated on me so I’m going to do the same thing to get back at them. This person is usually really in love with their partner and that’s why they stay after finding out that cheating occurred. They go out and cheat themselves because they think it might help ease some of the pain and make things even. Trust me when I say, two wrongs don’t make a right and this person usually ends up getting hurt even more in the end. It can be a vicious cycle that some people stay in for years. Instead of trying to get back at someone why not just leave? If you know this person cheated on you, why even waste your time trying to get revenge. How about just find someone you can trust instead.

You also have the person who cheats because they aren’t satisfied with their current situation. Let’s just call them the “Unhappy Cheater” Either their partner is bad sexually, not paying them enough attention, or somehow not making them happy in the relationship. This person seeks what their not getting from someone else. They don’t want to leave the security of their current relationship be it financial or some other reason, so they stay in that one and find someone on the side to fulfill what they’re not getting at home. These people justify their actions saying things like “they weren’t giving me what I needed so I went elsewhere.” I say, if you really love the person you’re with, why not communicate to them the things that make you unhappy before you step outside the relationship. Give them a chance to work it out.

What does Cheating Mean to You?

You also have to take into consideration what is considered cheating. Ask one person and they’ll tell you its having sex outside the relationship, someone else might say it’s kissing another person. Some might say having an emotional connection outside the relationship is cheating. All three are forms of cheating, some might be more severe than others but its still cheating.

The emotional attachment is just as bad, if not worse than other forms. You tell this person things you don’t even talk to your partner about. You have feelings for this person that go deeper than just sex and that’s the really bad part. You can have sex with someone without attachment but once an emotional connection is made its harder to call it off.

Having sex with someone besides your man/woman is wrong in all aspects. Not only does this hurt your partner emotionally but it can also hurt physically. People in this day and age are not very careful when it comes to things like std’s and pregnancy. You have people out here cheating and not wrapping it up and that’s just selfish. Not only do you risk bringing a disease home but there’s also a chance you get the sideline pregnant or of course if you’re a woman, you get pregnant. Now you’re a candidate for the Maury show meaning, you don’t know who the father of your child is. That’s a bad situation for everyone and your relationship is pretty much a wrap at that point. an easy solution: be more careful!

In any of these situations if you’re cheating someone is going to wind up getting hurt at some point. Bottom line, do what makes you happy in life and if you have feel like you have to cheat, do the other person a favor and leave them alone.

 Written by Angela  Graves

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A Poem For The Lost Generations

From Barbies to Babies.
From PS2s to STDs.
From Hide and Seek To H.I.V.
What Happened To Us? Why Did We Move So Fast?
We were barely out of A-cups when girls started showing up pregnant to class.
From Barney to Bullets.
From Gameboys to Guns.
From brand new Teddy Bears to Newborn sons.
Snowballs hitting your back to bullets piercing your lungs.
What song made you stop having fun?
What lyric convinced you at 12 to go get some….for the first time?
From Crayola to Crack.
These girls give birth to their second child before the first can read, write, add or subtract.
What degrees can you earn lying on your back?
I promise Lil Wayne will never be at your funeral to honor your mother with a plaque.
From cartoons to caskets.
From Power Rangers to fucking strangers.
My generation may not get the chance to realize how stupid we are.
If we all don’t kill each other by 23, by 31, we’re behind bars.
How did we go from trading Lunchable snacks to stealing cars?
From the playground to the cemetery.
Playing in a different kind of dirt.
I promise there is no Magic School Bus to take you back to the Monkey Bars once you’ve been placed in a hearse.
No time for Barbies once you’ve had babies.
You can’t hide H.I.V. once you’ve seeked unprotected sex.
This sad excuse for a generation has set the standard for the next.
Slow down. There is no  way for us to retrieve our childhood now but just take the time to listen. If these were ours, what will be our children’s transitions?

Written By: Hershey Writes [@hersheywrites]

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DO YOU KNOW YOUR WORTH?

These past few weeks I have been helping a friend get over a long-time boyfriend who recently broke up with her. What makes it so bad is that it was one of those “unexpected” break-ups. At first, I saw the situation for what was in front of me. A broken-hearted young woman looking for answers she probably did not want to hear and kept herself eluded from the truth with the false impression he was “The One”. But after looking a little harder, I saw something much worse. My friend was just another intelligent, beautiful young woman who DID NOT KNOW HER WORTH.

She described their relationship as being “polar opposites”. She didn’t drink or smoke, was still a virgin and came to church every Sunday.  My friend described how disrespectful he was (including jumping on his own mother), wasn’t responsible, didn’t value her personal beliefs and sat around smoking and drinking all day. As i say their listening to her, i started think back to my own life. One person in particular in my not-so-distant past came to mind and flashbacks of a bad relationship came flooding in.

Now the phrase “opposites attract” has been over-used to justify dating a man that is no good for you. You do not  share the same morals, no similar goals, you are two different people  who care for each other so you try to force a relationship. Yes,  the relationship already more red flags than a Redskins game. Now, mind you, I am not a dating expert and I have had my “Mr. Wrong” but I also found out that dysfunctional relationships are NOT healthy. It takes a toll on you emotional, mentally and even physically.

If only that name tag was clear and visible every time we ran into this guy. HOW many times have I seen this or been in this situation? This guy was controlling but did it in such a way that it went right over my head, over my shoulder, landed behind me and marched me in between a rock and a hard place. The space in between was called….

If you were selling a product that was to be mass produced and commercially sold, you would make it a reasonable price and widely available. But if you were selling your most prized possession, you would increase the price AND make sure the buyer was worthy enough to be entrusted with something you hold so near and dear to your heart.

The same applies with our self-worth. You can love hard but not every person you meet and tells you “I love you” is worth giving your all to. They will relish in the care and attention but won’t whole-heartedly appreciate YOU. If you are sure of yourself, people will either run from you or flock to you. Your energy draws in the people who are similar to you. Don’t hurt your progress by forcing negative energy into your space. This also goes for friends and sometimes even family. Employers and educators alike will try to belittle you and make you believe that you are nothing more than what they want you to be. But if you are sure that you are PRICELESS, no one has the power to bring you down.

- Ashley Mosley

@SheSpokePoetry

 

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PIECES OF ME

 

They take a crack at it just to see of it’ll break

Chipping and scratching with every blow they take

Taking a piece for themselves

PIECES OF ME

It’s been a long time since I’ve been whole

This jewel was given a new life role

That requires some distress (you know it wears the best)

PIECES OF ME

Who could give me the highest bid on forgiveness?

If only you knew the type of shit that’s been going on in this

This shell (my body)

This process (my mind)

This scar (my soul)

Like the fact I still don’t have the courage to tell my boyfriend (my best friend)

That I was raped and molested when I was five years old

PIECES OF ME

I’m sure my skin has seen more than its fair share of cocoa butter

But it didn’t heal my scars

I had to find myself because

I didn’t believe in prayers or wishing on stars

PIECES OF ME

But I discovered I was a Queen long before a crown was placed on my head

And I didn’t have to learn the hard way

 

Laid up in some man’s bed

Ya see, my mother is the Queen of Fix It Up

My Grandmother was the Queen of Sho’ Ya Right

My Great-Grandmother was the Queen of Don’t Play With Me

I inherited a kingdom of cycles that needed to be broken

PIECES OF ME

PIECES OF ME

PIECES OF ME

No need for hammers mails or glue

Let this mosaic paint a different picture for you

 - Ashley L. Mosley

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Ambitious Girls: ArtWork

Both pieaces were done by:
Michelle Gore
@xplixit_content
http://www.wix.com/fcartwork.fcartwork

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Allow your Ambition to Thrive

Never allow a person to make you feel bad for your goals and work ethic. People who are scared of being outshined make others doubt themselves. It is important to surround yourself with people who constantly uplift your spirits because the road to success is far from easy.

If you are constantly around people who make you feel bad for working and not going out or spending time with them verse being productive, change your surroundings. If you cannot change your surroundings then you must distance yourself from them. Create a space of pure positivity around you. Even if this is not completely possible do everything in your power to maintain an environment where your dreams can turn into reality without being shot down by others.


Unfortunately people may not even be aware of how negative they are to your life, so do not blame them. Do not be angry with them but realize that it is not a healthy situation and move on. Just because people have been in your life for a long period of time does not mean they need to continue to be in it.
This may be family, friends or even coworkers. If they make you question your ambition and cast a bad light on it, distance yourself. Although it is okay to have “haters” but its even better to have people who support you and motivate you to do better. Constantly hearing people doubt you can make you question yourself to the point where you might give up.

The road to success is difficult enough without the added pressures of people and their opinions. It is great to have people who are honest with you but learn the difference  between hate and constructive criticism. Ignore hate and use constructive criticism.

Ambitious Girls.

It will not be easy.

But it will be worth it.

A M B I T I O N

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